泌阳驴

我急于斩断过去的自我，扔进焚化炉、碎纸器、绞肉机。把他遗弃在路边，怎想到又被你拾起。
于是，我明白，我无法原谅我的罪，就像你无法救赎你自己。
情绪、抱怨、痛苦都要被抢夺么？
我的生活与你无关，既然你不在我身边。

     去深圳的飞机上遇见了一位奇怪的大哥。航线上我们未讲一言一语，他却在空乘送水时为假寐的我轻轻放下桌板。我暗自嗔怪，笑他多事。但空乘清理垃圾时他又悄悄代我收了废物。我突然明白，这不是他多余的讨好之势，于是睁开眼睛希望向他表示谢意，不曾想却惊吓到了他。在口边的感激和抱歉没说出来，已被一个善意的微笑化解。仔细观察，眼中勾勒出了一位年近四十的汉子：头发稀疏得可见峡谷，温顺地扳向一侧耳鬓，露出光洁饱满的额头；面色像黑色土地上盛开着艳红的高粱，一定是户外日光的杰作；一双眼睛质朴温柔，背后藏着一丝狡黠，与腼腆的笑容相得益彰，包含善意。我想起儿时父亲捧起我时的面容，竟然如此相似！

这一行，我接触了形形色色的人，酒局饭桌上、工作实验里，其中有同处四年的寝室好友、安排接待住行的学弟、合作关系的老师、好友的朋友、不相干的当权者。我没有从他们任何一个人眼中读出这样的信息，踏实而又安宁。

地平线上的灯龙渐渐淡去，最终被涂上轻盈的白色，我仍坐在靠窗的座位，身边却已是一位怀揣LV皮包的大姐。深圳的夜景像极了米兰，发光的彩色森林伸向目不可及的远方，桥梁通明像是在给海的另一边注入璀璨的血液，与城市连接在一起，淡淡的云层给闪亮的童话世界披上白纱遮掩，更似虚无缥缈的仙境。一份多么熟悉的感觉涌遍全身，我能感受到仿佛手臂上仍握着那只无法掩饰青春气息的手，汗珠润湿了皮肤，把欢喜和暗示毫无保留的注入神经。那时我默默许愿，望时间静止在绝境与她面容交汇的一刻。虽然事与愿违，但我却已把转瞬的美好化为永恒的感觉蚀刻在脑中，再不畏惧分隔和别离。

此时此刻，身边的大姐沉沉酣睡，我为她熄灭了头顶的灯光。她全然错过了胜景，不过也未必在意，即使我趁她醒来展示照片，只能换来一声违心的赞美罢了。

虽然，过来人常说不能因噎废食，我经过数次的挫折后，却实在提不起精神再谈一次投入的恋爱。在不长的人生中，始终笃信以诚意全心换取信赖与情感。不过爱情上却屡战屡败，得到的是决绝的离别与欺骗、伪善的逢迎和讨好、无情的沉默和唾骂，以及虚假的承诺与情话，美好的光阴像落地的强化玻璃般碎成无法拼接的珠球。可这遍布毛孔的期待又是什么呢？它如同饥渴地蝗虫，疯狂地蚕食着我的意志，逼迫我做出挣扎。

人是如此孤单脆弱贪婪，表面的滚滚红尘终不能填补心中的郁结，始终渴望爱情的浇灌、幻想完美的邂逅、永世的心有灵犀、茫茫人海中的四目相对、简单却为自己量身定做的终极情人，无限信任并情投意合的长相厮守，私语到天荒地老，倾诉到海枯石烂，不矫情不闹腾平静安宁地度完一生。正似那位大哥的眼神一般。

抑或是读书的时日漫长，黄粱一梦与幻想生长在心中。祈祷东方的美好未来，绿草布满山谷，阳光洒遍万物的日子总有一天会实现。

这可怜可悲、可叹可气、可恨又可笑的梦中人啊。

仙狐

讲经声袅娜围绕屋梁起舞
沉醉中举目望见了你
轻纱覆身 朱唇微启
莲步轻移间竹林不可思议般恭敬侧体

你浸染红霞的面庞
似一株含羞草般不胜眼波的触碰
匆匆消失在九曲回廊深处

你必是黔灵山野中灵俊的仙狐
啖的是倾心
饮的是爱慕

宿醉

街灯打湿秋凉
黄昏萎靡地放出熟烂葡萄般的光亮
摇摇欲坠
我从宿醉中醒来
枕边的城市依旧沉睡

如果我是一头驴
黑身白肚
耳朵耸峙地一如崭新的裤缝
定然仍无法被诺亚方舟拯救
只因孤独与我捆绑销售

倒不如再喝下一杯冰冷的啤酒
重温那次被谋杀的邂逅

写生少女

河流穿过辽远的原野，奔向
童话中洋葱般斑斓的圆顶修道院
炊烟缓缓舞动，远离了集市拥挤
飞翔
写生少女羞涩善意的笑容
是救活心灵的电流

若有来生
我愿求遍主与众神
只望化作一株天竺葵
扎根苏兹达尔
在你笔尖的色彩与线条中获得生命

之一

淡薄的雾色遮掩了街景
秋凉穿透肌肤
城市和人群仿佛已从心内远去

夜雨刺痛周身
不留余地提醒着相隔千里

如果望与想是拯救相思的药剂
那一定是我产生了抗体

“生活的最高级是另一种生活
好的最高级是你”

之二

月色铺洒在米兰如银河般的街景上
恰似你眼前的薄雾
看星夜时很近
望向我时却很远

如果你周身的香氛再浓烈些
一定会将我谋杀
因为发梢掠过神经
手与皮肤温暖的结合

彼时我曾许愿放弃肉体和灵魂
换取时间静止

你眼眸中薄雾散尽
脸庞微醺般泛红
黯淡了窗外的童话和一切美好感情

之三

黑暗张开漫无边际的斗篷吞噬了世界
人们惊慌失措
却看不见夜游神的慈爱双臂
抱紧你
哄你进入梦乡

之四

太阳似初夏的黄色莲花睡意朦胧地绽放在你面前
它的光芒洋溢暖意传入我的视线
勾勒出清晨的绝境

所以即便时空相离
彼此仍是触手可及

 Sun’s burning kid’s face

He doesn't want to lose his race

For what he wish to grow at once

Road’s hurting man’s feet

He doesn't want to bury his fate

For what he wish to recall childhood age

Beautiful emotions break into pieces

Raining down through his heart

Feed all the thirsty desire

Blooming like spring flower

Innocence Day suddenly crushes

Noone willing to kill

Innocence Day never fades

Noone ought to fail

Feel the pain it takes

Taste the injure you make

Innocence Day never fades

夏夜

月色温润干涸的斑马线，
街灯轻抚行人孤寂的肩。
夏日恹恹，
雷雨缠绵。
清风映照你的眉眼，
虫鸣落入我的心田。

旅途

风景如快放的影像般远离，
但若以相同的速度追逐，
终将能与之相伴，
你却宛似天际的繁星，
我所见的只是流逝的年华，
总是遥不可及。

Although there’re lots of books can be called the “best book”, I have read plenty of them and they all affected me in some way, today I wish to share a book I read recently surely is the best book I’ve ever met. Its name is <Taking Woodstock: A True Story of a Riot, a Concert and a Life>, which is a memoir describing the origins of the Greatest 1969 Woodstock Festival influenced a Generation of American youth by Elliot Tiber with Tom Monte.

The story is about four young men’s efforts to hold a Music Festival during a special time in American history. The writer Elliot Tiber is one of them, who is a gay and was born in a Jewish family. Thanks to the abnormal concept people stuck to, Tiber had been looked down upon during his teenage. And after he graduated from Hunter College with a Bachelor of Fine Arts, his life did not turn better. The whole society didn’t accept the gays, the police often beat them with no reason, and wouldn’t be punished. At the same time, Cold War was under intense pressure. The youth of American need a way to express their thoughts and do what they want. There came the music festival of Woodstock.

Woodstock is the least commercial music festival in the history, whose subject was “three days of peace and music”. About 450 thousand young fellows all over the nation came to Elliot parents’ motel and a nearby Farm land in the town of Bethel, rock and music stars gathered there to performance for the audience. But it’s very tough to hold the festival since the residents of the town opposed it. They tried every means to stop the 4 young gentlemen, and even linked arms to form a barrier to prevent people coming into the town. But Elliot made an announcement through the radio, calling for backups，so even more people came to the concert, too many to get into the field, some of them just stayed on the road for the three days. All of the visitors enjoyed the music, they were dancing、singing and shouting“Love！No war！”together and having fan, gays did not need to hide, everyone felt freedom. Although the number of audience was enormous，no accident happened during the concert, Elliot even helped a girl to born a baby.

The paragraph I love most in the book is: Due to the huge number of people, Food was out of supply, One day a truck filled with food arrived in the town, people rushed to it and there seemed to going to have a conflict. Suddenly, a young man with guitar got on the truck and began to play Bob Dylan’s famous song <blowing in the wind>，magically, the crowds turned still, every person was immersed in the melody.

Through this book I strengthen the idea that music has the power to make world better. In music I trust.

    前些天去了国子监街，虽然主题不是散步，但得空在街上走了两圈。 且不说每个门脸上都写有“圣人邻里”或“闲逸居”等雅致的牌匾，闭上眼睛倾心聆听也会发现安宁洒脱的气息，仿佛整个北京都安静了下来，没有丝毫的嘈杂和慌张。你能听到由小渐大的沉沉步点，那是拿着风铃的孩子穿过一个门廊跑向另一个，清脆的鸣响穿越整条街道，仿佛也穿透了行人的心灵，飘向天空。你还可以听见忙碌的缝纫机捶打衣布的声响，节拍迅速但毫不忙乱，哒哒哒哒，如轻快的小步舞曲撩动着迷醉的神经。或是清风拂过梧桐叶奏响沙沙的间奏，像海浪轻拍脚丫似的拨弄你的听觉，轻盈地穿过耳膜，与各种声响相得益彰，舒缓与急促，沉重与轻盈，此刻似乎感受不到时间的流动，却不知觉得想念起故乡明媚惬意的午后，这是我熟悉的北京么？我不敢妄下结论，但我终要走出这条街，回到迷乱嘈杂的现实，融入洪洪的人流，这一份心情也会随之消散，只存活于那一刻的记忆中了。